A Roundabout Story
in Santa Maria, Ca.
or how hard can it be
to draw a circle.

October 1, 2003

Sent in by a fan in Santa Maria, Ca.

Santa Maria has decided, correctly I might add, to put roundabouts into some of the new developments within the city. Roundabouts are the best, most efficient way to move traffic though an intersection. This is not a new idea. Traffic circles are all over Europe and in many cities throughout the U.S.

They are good because you don't have cross traffic, no cross traffic, fewer accidents.

There are no red lights, running red lights is a major cause of traffic accidents.

Roundabouts keep traffic moving, cars use less gas when they are moving as compared to sitting still at a red light. This is an obvious advantage of the roundabouts.

They are touted for being cheaper, mainly because there is no need for traffic lights and the electrical control equipment they require, but as we are about to see, if done correctly, they are not any cheaper.

Also, if congestion becomes so bad that cars must stop before entering the circle most of the other advantages are out the window, so to speak.

How much this congestion happens depends on the design of the circle. You might ask, "How tough can it be to design a circle?"

Well, in Santa Maria, it is apparently pretty tough.

So here comes the Stupid thing about the quickly becoming, infamous, "roundabouts of Santa Maria". Yep, that was Stupid with a capitol "S"

The critical design flaw with the Santa Maria circles is they are too small, they should be a larger diameter, at least twice the size they are now. This will allow two lanes around the circle and will allow more cars in the circle at any given time. Larger is safer but larger costs much more money when you are talking about California real estate. I am sure the land use was a large consideration of the smaller but more hazardous size.

Only a few months after the roundabouts opened drivers are already having problems. Most of the problems are due to congestion, I live near these roundabouts so I travel through them often enough to offer these observations. I have even gotten my lunch from the local shopping center and watched people driving by. It is like watching an old episode of the Keystone Cops, it would be very funny, if it weren't so hazardous.

So the Santa Maria Public Works, Engineering Division have decided they need to instruct the public how to go about navigating the circle. They are filming videos to show how the traffic should flow. One afternoon I witnessed part of the filming while consuming my double cheeseburger, they used new VW Beetles as the example cars in the video, the VW dealer sits adjacent to one of these roundabouts. Since this would be a public service video I am thinking we taxpayers are footing the bill. The filming I witnessed however looked like a Volkswagen commercial, I hope VW footed the bill for this public service footage. I have not seen the edited version of this video so I will hold my judgment until I do.

That was Stupid now here comes the SeriouslyStupid part . . .

The Santa Maria Public Works, Engineering Division published in the Santa Maria Times (largest local newspaper in the area) a quarter page Public Service Announcement. This "ad" shows a diagram of a roundabout with a numbered glossary and instructions on how to navigate under various circumstances.

I have scanned and included this ad below. Read it for yourself, but I would like to point out a couple of Stupid things in the ad.

In the FAQ's they have a sample question -

"Which lane should I be in to turn right/go straight/turn left?" TURN LEFT ???

They answer themselves with

"Be in the right hand approach lane if you intend to turn right, be in the left hand approach lane if you intend on making a left or U turn, and any approach lane is OK if you are proceeding straight."

TURN LEFT OR U TURN ??? Woowie ! STRAIGHT, Straight where, over and through the island ?

Another question from the ad -

"If there are two vehicles side by side waiting to enter the roundabout, who has the right of way ?"

Answer - "If there are two lanes entering but only one lane around the roundabout, both vehicles may enter the roundabout at the same time, . . ."

Now forgive me, I may be slow, I even re-read this slowly. I think they should have written it a little slower. If two cars side by side both merge into the same lane at the same time what do you think might happen? Crashy, Crashy.

Since the City is endorsing this tutorial I think they might be held responsible for the cost of any traffic accidents that occur due to following their published instructions. Fortunately the cars are traveling so slowly hopefully there will not be any injuries.

I am sure that this Public Service Announcement was carefully considered, engineers and planners all had input, the copy and drawings were all approved by several people. Right?

You see this is how you get to be SeriouslyStupid, when you do something Stupid but then you carefully consider, have a committee of experts review the stupidity, find errors, correct them, pass around the proof of the ad and several of our wise city planners check it, OK it, and authorize it for print, and this is the idiocy you print.

With the small size of these circles they are already congested and the traffic is only a small percent of the volume it will be in the next couple of years. These circles are in a new area where many homes and business' are still being built. The population of this immediate area will greatly increase in just the next couple years. Surrounding these roundabouts with all the building now will preclude any remedy, so that when our planners wake up to the realization that they are Stupid, they will be trapped into removing the circle and making a normal intersection, traffic lights included. A shame since they had a chance to show insight and set an example to other communities.

Well, City of Santa Maria Public Works, Engineering Division, y'all are SeriouslyStupid and you have apparently put great thought into achieving it.

Congratulations ! ! !

*** As a future suggestion maybe they should build the roundabouts in a figure 8, build bleachers around them and charge people to sit and watch. Of course the engineers and planning persons will be the ones forced to drive though them.

Entertaining I think.

Now before you email me and tell me to look at the ad, I already have. I understand precisely how to navigate these circles. I also understand what you meant to say in your text and little diagrams. Next time say what you meant to say. Be concise not confusing. I get it, remember I am the StupidPolice and you got busted.